


Historia's Beauty

by legopenguin2



Series: AOT Modern Setting AU [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, POV First Person, POV Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legopenguin2/pseuds/legopenguin2
Summary: She is sure as hell not perfect (no one is anyway), but it didn’t matter.I like her like that.I just wished she realised how beautiful she truly is.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Series: AOT Modern Setting AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838257
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Historia's Beauty

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did them justice Yumihisu is my otp ;-;  
> FYI they're 11 years old at the start of the fic  
> 

(Ymir’s POV)

I detested the way she acted.

Historia was always helping every person she could, sometimes even going out of her way to do some favour for a popular bitch that was clearly using her. Even if she looked like she had a harsh comment, she would always hold it back. How sickeningly sweet. It seemed like she had a motive which I couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

Yeah, that must be the case, isn’t it? People like her are always like that.

***

  
 _Another test again huh…_ I sighed, resting my chin on my hand as I stared at the clock. _5… 4… 3… 2… 1…_

“You may begin,” the teacher announced. Immediately, the sound of papers flipping could be heard throughout the classroom. While I mostly busied myself with shading the correct answers on the answering sheet, I did occasionally look up to check the time. Right then, I saw Sasha, who was sitting directly in front of me, continuously looking over at Historia’s answers, Historia almost nudging said answers towards her. _The fuck? Is Historia helping Sasha cheat? God, they aren’t even being subtle._

As soon as we were dismissed from class, Historia and I packed our items into the lockers outside the classroom, giving me a good opportunity to confront her.

“W-what are you talking about?” stammered Historia.

“You’re trying to do a good deed, aren’t you?” She ignored what I said, focusing her gaze a little too much on her locker. _I knew it._

“Are you really _that_ kind, or are you doing it to feel like a better person?”

“I…” Historia faltered, “I wanted to help her… because I wanted to be seen as helpful… right?” … _“right?” The fuck?_

"Huh? Like hell I'd know.” As I was about to leave, Historia pleaded me not to report them to the teacher.

"Pff, I wasn't going to do that anyway."

"Why?"

“What good will it do for me? Besides, this means you would owe me one.” Obviously, we didn’t end on good terms.

 _Why the fuck did I do that? It was none of my business anyway,_ I thought to myself as I walked home.

***

The next time we talked was when we were paired up for an English project which was due in a week’s time. _I’d rather do this project alone_ _than stay in school to do this shit with her._

“Um… Do you have any opinion on this?” Historia asked, pointing to the text on the assignment.

“Unless you count how boring I think this stupid assignment is, then no.” She sighed.

“Ymir, I know you’d prefer to do the project on your own, but we are paired now and I would appreciate if you don’t make me snitch on you.” _Huh, is this the same Historia I know that does stupid favours for intolerable idiots?_

“Snitch on me? You wouldn’t when I saw Sasha cheating off you.” Historia was definitely staring daggers at me this time. _Didn’t know she would ever be this pissy. Or maybe I actually caught her in a bad mood. That’s… amusing._

“So? That doesn’t give you an excuse to do nothing.” A long, tense silence passed. _Huh, now I know Historia is apparently pretty fucking stubborn when she wants to be._

“Fine. What do you want me to do?”

***

“So you can be a decent person after all,” Historia murmured as she did the final edits to our work.

“What, are you implying I’m an asshole?” Not that it was even insulting to me at this point; I had long accepted it as fact. It was the only way I knew to keep myself from getting hurt.

“Seemed that way when you were all for using things against me,” Historia replied, smiling. I huffed. _Maybe she isn’t as fake and shitty as I thought._

Since that project, Historia started finding me to sit with during recess, dragging Sasha and Connie along. As expected, Sasha and Connie seemed rather uncomfortable with my presence, visibly shifting about like they wanted to just flee. They even disappeared often to play a prank on some poor soul in our class, leaving me and Historia alone. Maybe it was for the best; we ended up getting closer during this time, talking about random experiences we’ve had, occasionally stumbling upon a common topic, even bantering. It felt nice to have someone who wasn’t apart of my family to talk to after so long. Even when we had nothing to say, just hanging out with her provided comfort on its own.

A few months later, Connie and Sasha finally started ghosting on us less often and actually interacted with me. Sasha, in particular, warmed up to me a lot more. This was no doubt Historia’s doing but at least I have some friends now.

***

“Hey, Jean! Here’s your oreos!” Connie announced.

“Thanks. God, why does homework even exist?” Jean replied whilst turning to Connie, only to realise that the oreos were no longer in its packaging, but inside a lunch box.

“What did you do to this?” he questioned.

“Nothing! Nothing at all, just eat them,” said Connie. Against his (probably) better judgement, Jean bit into one of them anyway. His eyebrows knitted together comically before he spat that bite out, scowling at Connie as he yelled,

“What the fuck? This tastes like fucking mint.” Connie guffawed right in front of him while Historia, Sasha and I were stifling our laughs while hiding behind the classroom door, watching Connie’s ‘grand’ prank.

“And this is why you should not be doing homework during recess and asking people to buy food for you,” I remarked. Sasha snorted while Historia halfheartedly told me off.

“Now you’ll have shinier teeth!” Connie said as he flashed a big, bright smile, taunting Jean further.

“YOU PUT TOOTHPASTE IN THIS THING?! I swear to fucking God,” Jean complained. Connie then brought out a sealed packet of oreos, saying that he wasn’t that big of a jerk to not bring up any proper food at all. As Jean opened it, he eyed Connie with annoyance as he took a bite.

“Hmph,” Jean uttered indignantly.

“That was kind of a waste of food though. I tried telling Connie not to do that oreo prank,” Sasha commented.

“I’m glad he didn’t get convinced otherwise,” Historia muttered. Upon hearing that, Sasha put her hand to where her heart was in mock shock, replying,

“Wow! Our goddess approves of pranks!” Historia’s eyes widened in shock before she hit Sasha’s arm lightly and told her to shut up, embarrassed that she was heard. I grinned, realising that Historia’s hidden sass was slipping.

“Pff, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You should do that more often,” I encouraged, “if it’s what you feel, do it.” While Historia made no sign of acknowledgement, I knew she heard me when she gradually started teasing everyone more.

 _Wow, hot damn._ When she truly let loose, her sass was practically unmatched.

***

Though I had already been her friend for three years, I could never understand why she kept caring so much about what others thought of her. I remembered watching how she dealt with others all those years ago, so eager to please others to look like that angelic, ‘perfect’ girl, even when it meant risking her own marks to help a friend or overwhelming herself with a workload that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. If anything, that sounded like torture to me. Why was she so desperate for this kind of superficial acceptance? It wasn’t until she finally opened up about her family to me that I realised where it all stemmed from.

Her parents were the very definition of indifferent towards her. Furthermore, if she dared try to reach out to them for any form of affection, she would be harshly rejected. Sometimes, her mother would even go out of her way to tell her that she wished she were never born. It wasn’t hard to see that her drive for ‘perfection’ and need to be seen as helpful was all in hope that she would hear words of appreciation from others around her, to prove that her existence mattered.

“Damn, I had a feeling you weren’t on good terms with your family when I went to your house, but not to this extent,” I commented, huffing as I leaned back against the headboard. “Fuck them.”

“It’s fine, at least I have my sister and my friends,” Historia stated with a small smile. _No, the fuck, how is that “fine”? They **hurt** you, those fucking bastards, how can they do this to their own child?! _I almost yelled aloud, but settled for shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I really envy you, you know,” said Historia suddenly.

“Huh? Why?”

“Other than how nice your family is… you don’t care what people think of you, unlike me,” she elaborated, sighing. “I want that, but even now it doesn’t come that easily to me…”

“Then you’ll just have to keep trying,” I replied, before immediately cringing. “God I sound so cheesy.” The laugh that came from her afterwards surprised me, breaking the tension of the oddly heavy conversation we were having.

“How inspirational,” she taunted between laughs.

“Shut up,” I retorted, smacking her with a pillow from her bed, Historia only laughing harder as she raised her arms to block.

“But I’ll keep that in mind,” she stated cheerily. True to her word, slowly but surely, she continued working herself out of that mindset even despite several relapses. To have the front seat to such development only made me prouder of her.

On top of that, it was even more apparent now that her kindness was innate as she continued extending a helping hand to those in need, especially towards children. She looked like she was having the time of her life interacting them, and even when a child cried because the other party wasn’t playing fair, she comforted her with ease.

She is sure as hell not perfect (no one is anyway), but it didn’t matter.

I like her like that.

I just wished she realised how beautiful she truly is.

***

“She’s such a kind soul… I would kill to marry her,” Reiner idly mentioned. A bitter feeling started rising from my chest.

“Don’t you dare take Historia, you gorilla. She’s mine,” I growled. Reiner was taken aback. _Jesus, what do you think you’re saying to Reiner? Why am I so possessive over her?_

“Woah woah Ymir, what’s wrong?” Reiner replied, raising both his hands up as though he was surrendering. He soon put down his hands and seemed like he was scrutinizing my expression for any clues. A smirk gradually grew on his face.

“Do you have a crush o-”

“No. Fuck off,” I vehemently denied. _Do I? I sure as fuck hope not._ I did know that I’m gay, but crushing on Historia will spell nothing but trouble. Not to mention that she probably didn’t swing the same way.

“You sure look like you do,” Reiner teased.

“Says the one who said he wanted to marry Historia earlier."

“I’m quite sure you want to do that more than I do,” he stated with an infuriatingly smug grin. _What the fuck?_ “I’m also certain that you’re in love with her, not just crushing on her.”

“Shut up, bitch,” I retorted. _Damn it, why can’t I argue against him at all?_

 _Am I really in love with Historia?_ Memories of our experiences together for four years flooded my mind, one detail standing out the most: her genuine smile. The way her eyes gleamed, joy clear on her face… she looked so damn adorable. _I would give anything to keep seeing her smile like that._

_Oh fuck,_ _what am I thinking? Giving my all for her smile? I am fucking doomed. Thanks for that great awakening, Reiner. Fuck._

"Are you blushing from thinking of Historia? So gay,” Reiner grinned, conceited.

“Don’t fucking talk again if this is all you’re gonna talk about,” I answered, resigning to my fate. Reiner laughed heartily, probably overjoyed that he finally had someone to ship me with. _Fuck my life._

From the corner of my eye, I saw Historia walking over, confusion clear on her face as she looked at both of us.

“What were you guys talking about?” she asked while putting down her food. “You seemed so worked up, Ymir.” _Oh God, kill me now._

“Gorilla’s been talking bullshit,” I replied. I glared at Reiner as soon as he opened his mouth, probably about to retort. _Don’t you fucking dare._

“Um… I’ll ask more about that later,” Historia replied, leaving to buy drinks. _Fuck, she can’t know. I hope she forgets about it later._

“You’re one hell of a gay disaster,” Reiner taunted, “Historia would have to be really dense for her to not realise something is very off.” I could only manage a groan in response. I hated admitting it, but he was right, especially considering how Historia responded after. _Oh wait…_

“She’s the same person that doesn’t even know you’re crushing on her, like, at all,” I pointed out, smirking.

“I’m talking about you, you lovesick woman, not me. Also, I could say the same for you, except you’re in love.”

“Why am I still friends with you?”

“Because we have the same terrible sense of humour.”

“Tch.”

Not long after, Historia returned and resumed probing about what Reiner and I discussed.

“School,” I replied, hoping that Historia would buy it. She quirked a brow, but didn’t ask any further. _Phew. This crush… or… love… thing… I fucking hope it passes soon. The last thing I need is my life becoming more miserable because I’m one hell of a lovesick bitch._

***

Historia was not helping things. No matter what she did, I always fell deeper. It was overwhelming, and so was my consistent urge to hold her hands, hug her close, or even kiss her. _This is getting fucking problematic. God damn it._

All of my friends, especially Sasha, noticed this. Even Annie whom I wasn’t that close to figured out I was head over heels in love with her. Was I really that obvious?

The only comfort I had was that Historia was seemingly oblivious to everything. Even then, that hurt a little. I couldn’t stop having irrational thoughts of wanting to be with Historia forever and marrying her and that was obviously not happening if she didn’t even know how I feel about her. Not to mention she was probably not into girls, let alone me. Fuck.

Maybe I could just distance myself from her. Hang out with her less often. Maybe then, it would all go away. At least that was what I had thought. For an entire week, I stopped sitting with her at the same table during recess, packed my stuff up and went home faster than Historia could catch up to me, resisted the temptation of messaging her first. I even started talking to her lesser during lessons even though she was right in front of me.

But fuck, it didn’t go away at all, it got worse. My heart ached knowing that I was doing this on purpose, unprovoked, and I missed her so much. I missed being together with her, hearing her tease, laugh, whine. Worse still, what if I had hurt her?

Within the following week, she somehow managed to run up to me while I was leaving the school, asking me why I haven’t been hanging out with her as often. This was also accompanied by a much too intimate hug, as she uttered,

“I miss having you around, Ymir.” The way she hugged me… And her words… _Fuck, Historia…_

“I missed you too.” _Historia’s here, thank God she’s here and didn’t just give up on me._

If anything, my attempt to distance myself made me fall even deeper in love with her. _Fuck. Why does she have to be this kind?_ I didn’t believe that I deserve her, yet I really wanted her to be mine **so** so badly.

So many times I wished my feelings for her could just disappear just so I didn’t have to deal with them anymore, but it was near impossible with someone like her. Every time she smiled genuinely, even laughing at my (sometimes lame) jokes, I just couldn’t help the warmth that blossomed in my chest, wishing to see her happy like this always, to protect her from anything that could hurt her.

_Fucking hell, I really have it that bad, huh?_


End file.
